Anna’s Life

Fall is in the air and it is my favorite time of the year.  I love the feel of the nip in the air, the changing colors of the leaves, the smell of the season, and the activities of this time of year.  It was during this season that I experienced my first love.

Little did I know that he would end up being what I consider my soulmate.  I knew the very first time I saw him that he was very special.  I knew I wanted to date him.  We dated for nearly 3 years.  We had a wonderful, caring, loving relationship.  We could talk for hours and never run out of things to say.  Although we were both young, I knew he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. 

But something happened and it caused us much pain and grief.  It was a horrible hurdle to overcome.  A decision was made for us with little thought on how it would affect the two of us which was totally devastating. 

I ended up going away to college and that did not help our relationship.  We ended up seeing other people, but my heart ached for him. 

We did go out one last time after we had been apart for several months.  Nothing had changed, we were both deeply in love with each other, but for some reason we did not get back together.  I was so down and depressed.

About two years later, I saw his engagement in the paper and I knew I had lost my chance.  That was it.  I went into a blue funk for months.  I just did not have the heart to date or do anything. 

I was in the middle of completing my degree when I saw the announcement.  It was all I could do to finish school, but I knew I must get on with my life without him.

I met a very nice guy and we dated.  I told him my whole history so that he would know how I felt and why I was the way I was.  He accepted me with all of my broken pieces (believe me there were a lot of them).  We dated for about 3 years and decided to get married and start a family.  He is a wonderful man.  But, I could never get my first love out of my system.  It was always as if a piece of me was missing that no one else could fill.  Such is life.

I never saw or heard anything about him for about 20 years.  I ran into him one day while eating out with my family.  I introduced him to my husband and family.  My feelings were still there as much as ever.  Is that not amazing?

Sigh…why does life have to be so difficult?

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